Even though I have enjoyed watching most of the Star Trek movies and shows, there have been some pretty dark moments in the Star Trek history.  Despite what the Trekkies will say, it hasn't always been sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for this TV and movie franchise.  In fact, this site outlines a few of their "darkest" times.  Despite these dark moments, Star Trek was able to make a great comeback with the reboot of "Star Trek" by J.J. Abrams in 2009.  And now, with the latest film, Star Trek seems well on its way for another successful run of movies and new fans.

So how does this apply to ministry?

In ministry (and life) there are plenty of great times that we celebrate.  The development of a new leader, a life change of a student and families reconnecting are just some of the joys we get to rejoice in.  But, unfortunately, there are also some dark moments.  The moment a life is lost, a student turns away from Christ, or a family is devastated by divorce are just some of the dark times we encounter as youth leaders.  String enough of those bad times together and it can cripple you and your ministry because of the emotional toll and strain it can put on you and others.

What do you do when that happens?

When these things happen, we have to simply FOCUS ON GOD all the more.  I know, I know that it seems like a simple, typical church cop out answer.  But it really isn't.  Believe me, I've dealt with my fair share over 15 years of full-time ministry.  Because in all honesty, the dark moments we encounter are out of our control.  We can preach the best message, invest countless hours in a student or do counseling with parents, but the reality is we don't and can't control what happens to these students and families the moment they walk out that door to go back out into the world.  We can only cry out to God, pray for them and seek His answers during those dark times.

I've printed this before, but in these dark moments, the C.S. Lewis quote from his book, "Mere Christianity" always comes to mind.  In it he says, "God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him into situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us."

We can rest assure that dark times are going to happen.  We will encounter plenty of bad times.  But the reality is that God is going to use these dark moments to make you into the person he desires you and your ministry to be AND THAT is far better than who we ever believe we can be.  I know we would love for us to go through life without any struggles, but that isn't how life goes and God never promised us that.  However, if we approach those times and trust Him, focus on Him and let Him use these dark moments, I firmly believe and am already beginning to see in my life, one day He will get the glory and people will be drawn to Him.

Thoughts?  Experiences?  Post your comments below so that we can all benefit and learn from each other.

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Stat to Chew on...10% of teens state their parents have no clue about what type of music they listen to while 83% claim that their parents like all or some of their music. (source: StageOfLIfe.com)

Quote to Digest...“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss

Student Ministry Blogs to bite into...

• Kurt Johnston talks about how Ownership in his middle school program is a difference maker
• Want to build parent partnerships?  Ryan Reed outlines 5 Questions you need to ask in order to build those
• Rachel Blom discusses how much older a youth leader should be than students
• Michael Bayne shares about discovering that "win" for your volunteers
• Jeremy Zach outlines 10 musts for leading a Youth Program
• In this time of transitions, Joshua Griffin talks about Youth Ministry Transitions

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Normally, our "youth group" nights consist of fun, food, fellowship, teaching and small groups. Not a bad combination, but a lot to cram in.  With that in mind, the Johnson students wanted to simplify and really engage the students.  So, their plan was to have some fun (we played a variety of dodgeball games), share the gospel and then have discussions with the students.  But here was the catch.  In order to facilitate good conversation, the group's leader (Josh) and I decided that we should do a "real" dinner together.

See, we don't do "real" dinner at group.  We do junk food and juice/soda with students.  Talk about a well balanced meal, eh?  Well this week we decided to enlist parents to make "real" food such as lasagna.  And real food it was!  These were NOT just some put the frozen lasagna in the oven for 1 hour type of meals.  Every single one of these lasagnas were handmade and they were amazing!

But what made the night the most memorable was hearing the conversations going around the room during dinner time.  See, not only did we give time for students to eat, but we strategically placed leaders around the room to engage in conversations with students at the dinner table.  The students were clueless to this but it worked perfectly.  We broke the students up according to age range and then when they all came back with their food, the leaders gradually directed the conversation to life and the message they just heard.  It turned out great and I'm convinced that if we didn't have to end the time because our time was over, we could have talked for 30-45 more minutes in that setting.

This change where we included real dinner, coupled it with intentional conversation led to a great win for our students, leaders and program.  That has led us to make some exciting changes in the fall where we include this time together more often. I am really excited to see what God does with our students this coming year because of our intentionality of having purposeful conversations around the dinner table.

Have you had experiences like this before where dinner and conversations have helped your ministry?  Share your thoughts and experiences below so that we can all benefit.

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Of all the shows being cancelled this season, one show in particular has stuck out as having the most issues behind their cancellation.  That is NBC's "Up all Night" show. There are many reasons for the demise of the show. In fact, for me to even try to summarize all the numerous changes to this program would do a great disservice to the pure mayhem that ensued over the 2 years of existence.  You really have to read this article yourself to fully understand.  But, the bottom line for me is that when you try to tinker too much, you lose focus of what you are trying to accomplish, lose people (your audience and cast) along the way and forget what you were really trying to do in the first place.

This disaster leads me to question changes I am making (or have made) in my ministry.  It makes me wonder, why am I making this change?  What am I trying to accomplish and do with this change?  How will this affect my audience and my leaders?  Will I lose any of them along the way?  Will it matter if I lose people along the way?

The reality is there are times when change is good and needed. But there are also times when change happens just for changes sake and that is not necessarily a good reason.  Before you make any change, you really have to evaluate fully what will be the impact of the change and determine if it will be worth it ultimately to do it.  Sometimes the answer is a resounding "YES", but I have also been in situations where I made changes that didn't need to happen and the ministry suffered because of it.

You have to keep your vision and goals in mind when you are deciding to make changes.  Making too many changes can cause you, as it did with "Up all Night", to lose focus which then caused them to lose their audience, their cast and ultimately their show.  Don't be like them. Make sure you take time to really process the pros and cons of each potential change.  Making the right ones could be the exact kick in the pants you program needs.  But, making the wrong ones could also be a blow that further pushes your ministry a little bit further down the hole.

Thoughts?  Experiences?  Post a comment below so we can learn from each other and benefit

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Stat to Chew on...4,600 young people (ages 10 to 24) commit suicide each year (source: LJWorld, 2008).

Quote to Digest..."Don't give up. Don't ever give up. " Former North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano, March 4, 1993, accepting an ESPY Award shortly before he died of cancer.

Student Ministry Blogs to bite into...

• Benjamin Kerns shares 5 ways to thrive in Church Bureaucracy
• Rachel Blom goes over how to visualize your priorities
• Michael Bayne discusses how to deal with small group monsters
• Ryan Reed talks about 5 keys to communicating a successful vision

Are you chewing on something this week?  Share it so that we can all learn from each other, be challenged and benefit.

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What impressed me so much about David was his willingness to be open and honest about his life and what God was doing there while also expressing his desire for Christ to work in ministries all over.  Then, he shared about MinisterSearch and what he was doing with churches to make sure ministries found the RIGHT person for the important work they were trying to find.

When I asked David why he started MinisterSearch he said, "While working at one of the top technology search firms, I was in leadership at my local church and knew lots of folks in ministry - it became evident that churches and pastors struggled finding the "right" long-term fit... I realized that the process needed to be tweaked to help."  Have you ever been on a search team before?  Have you ever "struggled" to find the right fit?  I have and it stinks! In some ways you feel so helpless.  You know the right person is out there but you need some help!

He went on to say that he felt that in order for the church and the candidate to rightly discern what God was doing, they had the put the right process in place and attain the right amount of information from both parties to make a great match.

And making great matches is what MinisterSearch has been doing.  It has grown a lot over the past 3 years and more and more people and churches are looking towards MinisterSearch for their next hire or position.  In fact, MinisterSearch is now the official Search Firm of Orange!

Being one who had to look for the right job on my own before, I always wished there was someone or some group to help me find that right fit for me.  With MinisterSearch, both churches and ministers have a person who is working hard to make that happen.

Churches, are you looking for that perfect match for your kingdom work?  Ministers, looking for your next position to continue God’s work?  Look no further than David Lyons and his team at MinisterSearch.  You won’t regret it.  Check them out here!

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But, this article also got me pumped for my own Student Ministry program.  How you might ask?  Because it got me thinking about my future leaders for next year.  I know, I know.  This year isn't even over yet and I know that.  But, if I'm not looking for the next crop of student leaders to take over for the exiting seniors now, I'm going to up a creek without a paddle come fall.  In fact, we should always be looking for the next set of leaders.

But what do they look like?  Who are they?  Here are some suggestions as you look for your own future leaders...

• Students who possess that "it" quality that other students follow.  For each ministry that "it" quality will be different but one thing is certain, you know that person when you see them.  They have something that you are looking for and that other students want to follow.
• Someone who is teachable.  Never underestimate a student who has a passion to learn and want to do well.  What they may lack in some areas, they make up for it in their teachability.
• A student who is consistent and makes your program a priority.  There may be better leader students out there, but if they don't have time and they consistently choose other things over what you all are doing, they are probably not the right person to be a student leader.  You need students who are consistently showing up and choosing your group instead of other things.
• Someone who is committed to actively pursuing a relationship with Christ.  This is probably the most important.  Wait, check that.  It IS the most important because without a commitment to Christ, everything this student does is with the wrong motives and without the right purpose.

It's never too early to start preparing new leaders to take over.  So, if you haven't started doing it already, now is the right time to begin that search.  With Penn State and all the other major college football programs across the nation, they recognize the need to have new leaders step forward and provide guidance for the rest of the team.  We need those types of leaders as well if we want our momentum in our student ministry programs to stay strong,  develop even more students who are either beginning or growing in their relationship with Christ.

Thoughts?  Experiences?  Share your comments below so we can all learn from each other and benefit.

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Stat to Chew on...One in four adolescents has or almost has diabetes. This is up from one in 10 a decade ago. (Source: Boston.com)

Quote to Digest..."Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." - Thomas A. Edison

Student Ministry Blogs to bite into...

• Jeremy Zach talks about Special Needs in Student Ministry
• With Jason Collins "coming out" as a Gay NBA player, Joshua Griffin posts a Poll about whether or not we have had discussions of Same-Sex relationships with students
• Ryan Reed encourages you to take a break from your day...laugh a little
• Michael Bayne talkes about making rest a priority
• Ever wrestle with whether or not to take that job?  Benjamin Kerns discusses 5 NON-Spiritual reasons to wrestle through

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Here are some of the notes I took during that gathering.

What is going well in your Ministry?

• Tom Shefchunas (Northpoint guy) - Camps are going really well... Camp t-shirts are a huge win for kids to get going
• Scott Rubin (Willow Creek guy) - Raised the bar on leaders and supporting them better. Meeting 30 min early before a meeting is a great leader moment time to prepare them for the night
• Kurt Johnston (Saddleback Guy) - de-siloing the youth ministry...begin to help them feel more apart of the larger congregation...1 weekend a month they have "worship together" weekends.

What are some tangible ways to value leaders:

• Each of them agreed that "tangible" is different per church.  What is tangible to you is not tangible to another church.  That means that you have to know your leaders and what they need.
• Connect them to relationships...to you and to others
• You have to understand your leaders and help them feel appreciated and valued
• During camp, provide a leader room where they can veg and recoup
• Give them responsibility that only they can do

How do you Recruit Middle School Volunteers

1. Talk to Children's Minister and see if there are some who are willing to move up for the long term health of student...that way relationships long longer and people can continue to build into them.
2. Ask middle school students to recruit adults to serve them It's better to have bigger groups than bad leaders

I wish we had more time to discuss this but the question came up of how can we be better about Integrating Special Needs students.  Bottom line was that they all agreed that we need to accept them and find ways to get adults plugged in with them.  One suggestion was to get help from adults who work with special needs students in other environments to get them more engaged in the church (both the volunteer and the student).

To keep up to date on UthMin.net follow them on Twitter or the Facebook.

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While I'm still processing so much from the conference, here are a few things I'm taking away from it:

• Networking matters and is helpful...great connections.  I had  a great time talking to other KidMin, StuMin and FamMin leaders and picking their brain.  In years past I have had very superficial conversations.  This time, I was more honest and inquisitive of how they do ministry.  I love the conversations I had.
• Make sure you clarify the win with your  volunteers so they feel successful and you gain momentum with your leadership team.  For each ministry the "win" will look different, but there should be a win.  For more notes on this, click here.
• We need to rethink how we share "history" with students.  Focus them more on Jesus than anything else and lead them into the great story of Him.  It all centers around our approach.  To read more on Andy Stanley's message, click here.
• Our legacy is not to be famous with many people (i.e. speakers, writers, etc)...Your legacy is going to be with the people you are with right now.  Invest with the people close to you.  To read more from Reggie Joiner's message, click here.
• It was great to hear Doug Fields sit down and talk to Reggie about why Student Ministry needs to be a priority within the Church and what that can do for the church currently and the future.  Click here for the notes.
• As I work on creating a small group format with our group, Sue Miller's seminar on Leading Small was very helpful.
• Tweens are area that I really want to be more aggressive about in reaching.  That is why Dan Scott's seminar on reaching Tweens was very insightful and encouraging with understanding and ministering to them.

What about you?  What are some things you learned and/or still processing through from Orange '13?  Share them so that we can all learn from each other and benefit.

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